Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
by Marianne Williamson
To reach our goals, we know it takes Action!
- For Action to happen, we know that nothing happens until something moves.
The question becomes: How do we get things in life to move?
- This is where we have to look at human psychology. What is it that motivates us?
One attribute of ultimate perfection is the State of Rest, for movement is induced by a lack of something, or by an attempt to reach that which is desirable.
The human being also likes to rest and is only willing to sacrifice it if someone suffers from a lack of something vital, such as food or warmth. The lack of something vital causes a person to act. The more an individual suffers from the lack of what he wants, the readier he is to make greater and greater efforts in order to obtain it.
This is the principle of Pleasure and Pain.
- These are represented by our two most basic emotions…Love and Fear
- We are either moving toward things that we love, or moving away from things that we fear.
- Fear can either cripple us, or we can understand the principle and use it for our benefit.
How do we do that? How do we use fear to our benefit?
- First, we have to identify and eliminate the fears that are holding us back. Many fears are irrational. I had a sister that had a phobia of windmills. I’d consider that an irrational fear.
- Many people have fears that have been programmed into them.
- What was a message in your childhood that you took to heart, and has held you back?
- Were you programmed to avoid risk? Were you programmed that people in your family can’t make money?
- This programming creates our thoughts. Our thoughts create Action. And our Action creates Results.
- Sometimes the only way to get different results is to change our thoughts. It’s difficult to change our thoughts if we don’t identify our programming that is creating our thoughts.
- These thoughts, these fears, that come from our programming will end up creating our reality. They create our perception. Not only of the world around us, but our perception of ourselves. They create our belief system.
- We call that limiting belief system our Drunk Monkey. Our Drunk Monkey is the voice inside that makes us want to play small.
- There is much more inside of each one of us! There is greatness inside of you that is waiting to come out! We can only reach that greatness by silencing our Drunk Monkey. Silence our limiting beliefs and speak to our 10.
What do you mean speak to our 10?
- Speak to your best self! Speak to that place inside of you that knows you are great!
Which is a stronger motivator: Pleasure or Pain?
- Pain is a much stronger motivator. The fear of a loss will motivate someone exponentially more that the thought of a gain.
Is there a way to use Pain and Fear to our benefit?
- One of the best ways to use Fear to our benefit is what I call Proximity of Consequence. You have to get really clear on the consequence of not reaching your goal. Or the consequence of your current path.
- Example: Smoking. Would people really smoke if they were thinking about the health effects? No. Then why do they smoke? Because its not this cigarette that is going to kill them, and they plan to quit someday. Think about the anti-smoking ads that are the most effective. The old man in the wheelchair on the oxygen machine that looks like death says, “Kids, don’t smoke or you’ll end up like me!”. That is powerful!
How can we create this same effect in our lives?
- With goals we create our future in advance. When you set a goal, you have to think about what is likely if I don’t achieve this goal? Or, what is going to happen if I stay on my current path.
- Example: One example that I see frequently is that people go through some economic or life event and their credit goes in the tank. They bury their head in the sand and don’t do anything about it because they feel like a failure and that it is a permanent situation.
- There is a Chinese proverb that says “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
- Nothing happens until something moves. This is where Action is the solution.
- If we look at the example of credit. At one time during my divorce, my credit scores went from the 700’s down to 460. It was painful, but I used the tools at my disposal to recover. Not just because I understand credit and finances. I had to get really clear on what my life would look like if that situation continued. Could I provide a good home for my family? The power of that fear and pain made me take action! Because I understood the verb “Fail”, turn into a noun, “Failure”. It wasn’t who I am. My credit score went from a 460 to a 715 in 24 months. It didn’t happen from inaction.
Remember, goals are not about having things, they are about the person you become. Speak to your 10. Silence your Drunk Monkey! I encourage you to conquer you fears.
Quote by Og Mandino:
I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.
Contact Information:
Doug Haldeman NMLS# 298419
314.472.3684
Audio File:Pleasure vs Pain
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